Words Can Bring Me Down


The washroom door bursts open as Amelia rushes in with the strong urge to throw up, but her empty stomach brings out nothing. Her tears fall onto her pencil skirt, creating dark gray spots wherever they touch, and her nose waters like one of a child in the cold. She knows she can’t do anything about it, they will never be the same again.

8 hours ago

Amelia hummed to the beat of her favorite pop song, as she typed away an email to someone she’d never met before. The sound of her typing on the keys added a sort of rhythmic beat to her song, as she continued humming, and started to tap her feet.

Many people passed her small cubicle that afternoon. She’d meet the eyes of men in gray suits with beards so white it could pierce your eyes, and middle aged women in extremely precarious heels and expensive perfume. But every now and then, she’d fidget with the brown file in her hands, the bold print just sending shivers down her spine. Once in awhile she’d glance up to see who was passing, her light green eyes darting here and there to catch a glimpse of someone new. She knew most of her glances were all meant for that one person. The one who’d stolen her heart 6 months ago. He sat 15 meters across her cubicle, his hair messed around his head, with a constant expression of being engrossed in a story. If she was lucky, she’d often catch a quick smile whenever he’d finish a good part in his article.

But today wasn’t one of those days. She glanced at his desk once again to look out for him, and found herself looking at a merely new couple making out like idiots in a workplace. She could only see the back of the woman’s head, her highlights straight like sticks against her back. Her blue dress hugged her skinny figure, and her bony arms wrapped around a man, whom she couldn’t seem to figure out at first sight.

Her impatient humming stopped the moment they pulled away, and she laid eyes on them both, his brown eyes sparkling as he spoke, while her bright red lipstick complemented her face as she giggled.

Amelia felt the sudden tumble of her heart drop to the floor, it’s beat dying at every little kiss the Caleb and the woman shared in each other’s arms. Her cheeks burned, and her vision started to blur with the forming of tears. She rushed off her chair to the bathroom, her feet sticky on the cold marble floor.

She hated to walk with her heels around the office, the clacking of it’s small tip on the floor would send her into a fit of swears. Only Caleb could stop her fits, whenever they occurred. Sometimes, when desperate for his attention, she’d wear her heels and walk around, sometimes even overdo the swearing.

“You know how much I love you getting mad Amie-bee, but just take it down a notch? Please?” he’d say with his big brown eyes. If she’d still be mad, he’d add on with a “for me?” and act like a tantrum throwing toddler, but he knew she’d always say yes. He’d known her for 2 years, and in that time, they had gotten to know each other well. At least she thought she knew him well.

She stumbled into the ladies’ room, and her legs felt like they’d give away any minute, unable to hold the burden of losing him. She turned towards the mirror and could see her eyes were close to overflowing with tears. Quickly enough, she grabbed a tissue and soaked the tears near her tear ducts. One couldn’t tell if her cheeks were burning red, but her nose had started to pop out like those red tomatoes one would see in salads.

She turned on the tap, and put her hands under the coolness of the flowing tap water, her pink-sparkly nails glistening in the light of the room. She looked at them in sadness, remembering how Caleb had made his sister get a free paint job for them. He’d even chosen the color for her, out of the 100 bottles that she’d been faced with.

Right then, a woman walked in. Her hair moved from side to side as her every step bounced in the stick thin heels she wore on her pale feet. Amelia completely knew who this woman was, she’d seen the many pictures of her at Caleb’s apartment. Her hair had been completely brown in those pictures, with soft waves at the ends, and a beautiful set of ocean blue eyes. She remembered being jealous that day he told her about Kiara.

She’s been my best friend since we were in kindergarten. All the way up to prom night, her whole dress covered in sparkles. Like you,” he’d said with a chuckle. They’d dated all through high school, until she’d broken up with him to study law out of the country. He’d been devastated when she left him, and he’d never dated a soul ever again.

Amelia watched her from the corner of her eye, drying her red hands on a towel, as Kiara opened up a bottle of mascara to re-apply to her already caked with black eyelashes. She wondered what Caleb ever saw in her, besides a woman obsessed with her looks and work. She’d even read about Kiara Meyers, second best lawyer on Jophers street, Tevalia City. Won 203 cases and lost only 2, out of which one of them was reopened 2 days ago, meaning she was in town for awhile.

She continued to watch her, until she herself came up behind Amelia to dry her hands. She caught a glimpse of Kiara’s eyes at that split second, and she felt as if those crystal-like globes had the capability of reading everything that she’d just thought. She even thought she saw a glimpse of recognition in those two blue circles, despite them never really laying eyes on each other before. Kiara’s angular chin cocked sideways, and her eyelashes fluttered as she suddenly began to speak.

“Oh my god! It is really you!” she uttered in a posh voice. Her red lips reminded Amelia of those women who spent thousands on expensive lipstick. She’d almost have fooled herself to think Kiara had blood on her lips, with her smile revealing her sharp canines, as she looked Amelia up and down.

She fiddled with the tissue in her hand as she tried her best to say with trembling lips “Sorry, who are you referring to here?”

“Oh, how silly of me” Kiara responded, a sudden triumphant look in her eyes, as she offered to shake Amelia’s hand, “I’m Caleb’s best friend. Oh! Excuse me, his girlfriend

Amelia’s hand shakingly shook the boney fingers reaching out to her, her dark skin contrasting against her pale and yet soft palm. The light of the room caused the many diamond rings to sparkle on her fingers, and the steel left it’s coolness on her warm palm.

It reminded her of the expose she’d done on this very woman 2 months ago. A lawyer who’d been hardcore on her jobs, and even let murderers go free into the city. Corrupt men who had gotten away with money laundering charges with her as their lawyer. Even her boyfriends had been extremely wealthy people. And Caleb’s recent announcement of being head of the Stories section from next week, meant she could hit the jackpot with just her advantages. The promotion’s  announcement was even on television last week, after his article on the new “Animals Bill” became successful worldwide. Being his girl would mean getting loads of attention, which is why Caleb had gotten 40 different offers from women to go on a date in the past 2 weeks.

Kiara’s blue eyes continued to sparkle as she spoke to Amelia, a sneered tone beginning to hint in her voice “I’ve heard A LOT about you Amelia. Caleb hasn’t even finished one conversation without mentioning you, his ‘Amie bee’ ”

Amelia’s eyes pointed to the floor as her cheeks started to burn with embarrassment, but she felt the sadness of how despite him giving her that special name, it never meant something to him. Kiara looked at her in awe, staring into her leaf green eyes, and Amelia tried her best to focus. She wanted to cry that very second, cry all that pain she felt that Caleb would no longer love her.

But in that moment itself, Amelia realized something. Kiara loved Caleb because of how easy going and loyal he was to the person he thought was his Kiara. It made Amelia want to look at those pretty blue eyes with spite and hate, that she’d do anything to break down that place, make Caleb open his eyes. She wanted him to see how abominable a person Kiara was, how what he thought she still was had died the day she broke up with him.

Caleb didn’t know Kiara’s ugly truth.  The expose was yet to be approved.

 He had to know.

When she finally left the bathroom, Amelia quickly sobbed a little more before heading to her own desk. She just stared at the words on her computer screen, “Kiara Meyers” written in bold as the title, as she she clicked on the “attach to email” button. The account she was using wasn’t hers, it was somebody else’s. It was someone who wanted Caleb to know the truth, to realize who his girlfriend was. One who was wanted Caleb to herself, to love and care and call her his “Amie bee”. Her fingers trembled as she wrote words she’d never imagined to ever utter in front of Caleb. Things she’d never imagined to do to Caleb.

With one final gulp of air, Amelia clicked the ‘send’ button just as she felt the turn of her chair to feel the warm feeling of Caleb’s mouth against hers.

The End

*title credit (most of it) to the Christina Aguilera song: Beautiful. Plus there are places that are fictional in this. 

And that is what I wrote a few weeks ago (after cutting half of it for English Class). I really hope you all like it, and I’d love to get some feedback. I do feel really sorry as I have barely posted a thing for a really long time, but with the stress of projects and Christmas break coming up, I have tons of drafts but nothing to ready enough to publish. I hope this can make it up 🙂

Stay Awesome 😀

Vivian ❤


Love Never Makes Sense

“Josh, does Coby like Amato?” Vess reluctantly asks, a sad tone to her question. He looks at her face, sort of neutral and doesn’t look away.

“Yes, he does,” he finally says, and Vess’ assumptions are finally confirmed. She’d already guessed it once he kept on walking without her whenever that girl was around. She just needed someone he was close to, to confirm it, make it official for her to finally accept. But she didn’t want to; she wanted it to be that he didn’t like Amato, that he just wanted to see if she really cared about him. But that too is a totally odd idea, but far better than the ugly truth Vess was facing.

“Why, Josh? The same thing happened last year! And then she…”

“She’s not a monster, Vess, not the way you think of her to be. She likes him again, and he does as well. You need to accept that”

“But she did the same thing to me in 6th grade for the guy I liked,” Vess protests, frustrated to the core.

“Yeah, and it was Coby, right?” he says, backing away and going to his friends. Vess looks at him in disbelief, and her happy bubble, bursts, letting a huge glob of depression form around her.

A pain starts to form in her chest, overwhelming her and forming a sudden burden on her that she decides to just go back to her dorm room. Lucy can tell something is wrong, but she keeps quiet as they walk barefoot, the wind blowing on their faces.

Halfway there, the ground becomes stony and cold. Lucy stuffs her feet into her shoes, but Vess just walks bearing the pain. That is how much the thought of losing Coby feels to her, and she keeps feeling it, all the way till they arrive the room. She leaves her shoes outside, walks in, and leans against the wall in wait for the shower. Her friends, confused looks on their faces pass her as they exit the room. But Vess just ignores their many looks, for all she can think about, is the crushing feeling she gets when Amato and Coby walk side by side.

Warm liquid brims up into Vess’ eyes, and it trickles down her burning cheeks, sending down a relief she can’t bring herself to ever feel.

When Love Stabs You in the Heart…

This afternoon

Class is almost over, and my heart starts to beat faster at every second that passes on the clock. I’ve taken all that I need, and I won’t require going to my locker. I am surely going to love to walk with Coby once again.

Time ticking by, I fool around a little more on my Geometry Project and *RING* the class is OVER! I steadily start to pack my bags, making sure nothing is left behind.

“Are you going downstairs as well, Derek?” I ask, trying my best to contain the box of excitement ready to explode from my chest.

“You kidding?” he replies, a smirk on his face, “I always go downstairs! My locker’s next to Coby, and I’m pretty happy about that…”

“What about your locker?” I inquire, confused. But nobody has time for that, and I follow him out towards the staircase. Just the day before, I was lucky enough to catch Coby and Derek in time (well first to say bye to Shanee), and we walked all the way to the buses. Getting several chances to meet the guy I extremely adore is very rare, so to walk with your bestie/crush is a BLESSING!

Approaching the Lab Area, I quickly take a glimpse and the next thing I know, an arrow has just gone right into my heart, and I’m ready to die and leave this world. Coby is standing next to Amato and she has a smile on her face, him still talking. Her bff and other friend (dunno if dating) are just 10 cm behind her.

Once again, that WITCH has sort of started her method of gaining this amazing person’s attention, and left me alone with no life. Coby walks with her, completely ignoring the fact that I’m there and they arrive at the staircase. Unsure what to do, I walk with Derek, and soon enough, some guy takes him away to talk. I’m left alone with no friends, as I see Coby and Amato, a small distance between them and soon enough his friends grab him and take him towards his bus. I see Amato talking to Ben, and I walk past no idea where she is after. All I assume is that she never turned around to go to Coby. His friends saved him from her (what I’m grateful for).

I’ve always had that urge to tell Coby what Amato is, so that he understands what she’s done. To tell him how cruel she has been, and the harm he is putting in his way in letting her into his personal space. I didn’t care last year, but that was solely because I didn’t know him enough. Now that I do, whenever I see him with that DEMON, a small piece of my heart breaks and falls into the continuous flow of blood in my system, never to be found again.

Forgetting about him is IMPOSSIBLE. Even if I tell myself that despite showing the love and affection I’ve shown to all the people I love and care about, he still feels happier with her. “I poured my heart out to him, and HE REJECTED it.” All I know is by next year, she’ll find another new guy to flirt with and next thing you know, she’s kissed some other guy.


Sitting on the cold floor in my room and writing this, tears streaming down my face, I know he’s a jerk and that I should forget him forever, but deep down, I know I can’t because I care about him too much to let him go…

The End

Hope this story touched your heart, as I happened to write this short “diary like” entry a year ago when contemplating life and how many girls feel this way. I do have 2 other stories similar to this, all phrased in their own ways.

An amazing thing would be if you readers could tell me what you think of this, as I also want to know if this writing method of mine is really working or not.

Stay Awesome People! 😀

Vivian ❤