Texting Dilemma…I NEED to Fix It

Being the ever-so-enthusiastic teen I am, I thought using this blog to fix my dilemma will really help, as Google once again has led me to a dead-end with less than 2 definite answers.

So my dilemma is that there is this guy (yeah, it always seems to be about a guy), and I really, really, REALLY LIKE HIM! I mean, like crazy crazy! It started off as a small attraction, but now, it feels more than that.

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About 2 weeks ago, I got his number and we then on started to text the other almost everyday, and I had this urge to talk to him almost every second I spent at home doing nothing. But recently I think I got too attached, and just wouldn’t stop texting.

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Now, I feel he only texts me after 2-3 hours of the text, and it gets disheartening every time I look at my phone and his name isn’t on the notification. Once in a while (like yesterday night) we get into a good convo about our day and other stuff involving tech and just different things about our lifestyles, but after when I try approaching him, he doesn’t say a thing until at like 12 am. Those texts aren’t too short, but not long either.

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I have tried reducing the time I send him a text, and I have gotten replies then, but my habit is hard to get off, but I am worried about why all of a sudden he barely answers, even though he never flips and says he is annoyed.

My panic level always seems to rise because of this (because my panic level is IMPOSSIBLY SHORT-CIRCUITED), and I want to be able to fix it soon enough to not damage our friendship.

Because we both don’t share classes together, talking at school is difficult, hence the texting after school or during the weekend, though I feel his weekends are jam-packed these days. Otherwise, I am thinking of hanging out in places where I can finally talk to him, without having to worry about not texting at home.

Anybody have any idea what really is going on here? I’d love to get some help, as even though I’m amazing at giving advice to others, giving it to myself never seems to work…

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Hope you guys can help, and Stay Awesome! 😀

Vivian 😉

PS:. I use Whatsapp, so yeah, I thought you all should know.

 

 

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Identifying who really is a True Friend

Now obviously there might be people on this platform who might have published stuff like this, or you might just be that person who’s all like “Pfffft, I already know this stuff..“, but I feel that’s not true. It’s always in our mind that we know exactly who out true friends are, and I totally respect that, but then when one of them actually stabs you in the back, you tend to get depressed and lonely…

So, I’ve tried using one of my truest of friends ever’s example in showing everyone who really is a true friend. To just keep her identity safe, let’s just call her Emily.

Now Emily came to my school (international) 2 years ago in 7th grade, and she wasn’t really that good at English, which made it super duper hard to communicate with her. I at first thought my other set of friends were amazing and that we’d stay that way for the whole time in Middle School. Obviously, you can predict what happens once the next year starts.

Anyways, Emily started to hang out with us, and sit with us at lunch with my other 6 friends, out of which I was the closest to some other girl, let’s say Camille. When someone doesn’t know another’s language that well, it’s really hard to communicate and get to know the other, which is why Emily was always a little outcast at our table. So, she moved on to sitting with people in her English Learning classes and got along just fine with them.

So I’m left with tons of my friends, us feeling like a small burden just got lifted off with Emily’s departure, but in the end, it just made the whole situation worse. One of the girls in my group decided that me and Camille weren’t it to be part of the group, and over time, all the friends that I thought were true the way they were, just turned their backs on me. Camille and I were left to fend for ourselves and start anew in the next year of 8th grade.

Having learnt my lesson about big groups, I decided to start small and befriended a new student, Aiden (not his real name) and we hit it off. Camille was overjoyed, especially since her new opening as a person (opening up to me) and having a guy friend. This year was also the time when I opened up so much I had tons of guy friends, and it sorta also became my guy-friend phase.

Going back to Aiden, we were always hanging out, went for a movie (with Camille always wanting to tag along) that just 3 and half months into the school year, Camille started to get a little obsessive about being around Aiden. She was so…reluctant to ever not be there when me and him hung out that once when I did decide to invite my other new friends and him, and not her, she flipped and lied to adults to get me into trouble. I didn’t understand what was wrong about not having her around for just one time, but she didn’t think so and I ended up getting punished for ME doing the wrong thing.

Camille was known for a history of being left out and thinking her mental learning problem to be taken advantage of. It hurt my feelings that because of her, I was losing the friend, I BEFRIENDED. But nonetheless, she made many think it was my fault (mostly the adults she involved) and I could never be the same as I thought those first 2 months.

So I decided to move on and just start to stay with people whom it was easier for me to talk to, without having to be forced to only listen to Camille talk about herself all the time. They accepted me, and I enjoyed the company, but a month or two later, I felt I wasn’t being myself. Something didn’t feel right, and I didn’t know what to do anymore.

One day, I just decided that I’d just try sitting with Emily once in a while at lunchtime. We already had 2 classes together that we were close in (she was speaking way better now), so it was easier and I enjoyed sitting at lunch with her. In the end, I drifted off from those other people, and the rest of the year was spent with Emily and all her other friends. Emily didn’t care that we didn’t talk much in 7th grade, she knew it had been hard anyway, and she accepted me for who I was, and also knew that it wasn’t my fault for what happened to Camille.

I felt happy with Emily, she was always there for me the rest of the year, I met tons of other people who didn’t care about my past with others, and they accepted me for who I was and not my any looks or background. I found my true friend, and others who could be so, and I knew they’d stick by me for as long as they can.

That is what I’d like everyone to know. A true friend isn’t one who’ll tell everybody your secrets, or stab you in the back if you hang out with someone else without them. They might be funny, caring, and trustworthy at first, but the choice of being that way for all time is what decides whether they’ll stick by you or not. We all know it’s very hard to find that true friend because the world today is so judge-y these days, and sometimes people have to have a super bad time to know whose the true pal. But it’s always worth it, because the moment you know, you’ll never have to think twice again.

Hope you enjoyed reading this,and..

Stay Awesome! 😀

How To Successfully Befriend Someone of the Opposite Sex

Another UFBG blog post, I finally have a topic I can actually talk proper about! If you have no idea what UFBG stands for or it, you can just see the intro blog post here, and it you think you’re smart enough to figure it out without, then *slow claps*

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As you all know, I have quite a decent amount of guy friends (or I’m just imagining I said so in my previous posts) and it’s mostly because I have certain things or methods that I without knowing use and end up with at least one new guy friend a year. So, I thought why not share if with all you guys, because it also ends up completing my quota for this week and for UFBG!

This works for both gender (why else is the title phrased like that) and has an easy and hard way.

But before you move on to any of it, here’s an important point to keep in mind- it’s not the same as befriending people the same gender as you, so you have to be a little open-minded to what guys/girls’ interests are and also be confident when talking to them. It can be tricky if you’re doing for the first time.

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It won’t really be a step by step guide, but it’ll involve situations with two options (like I sort of just said) and you can choose which one is doable by you!

So you’re spending some time at school/anywhere else where tons of people are there with your buds. Whilst in conversation, you glance across the hallway/or a place across your friends and you notice a guy/girl whom you know or just feel a connection to. 

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The Easy Way: You make a mental note of seeing if you’re in the same classes and say ‘hi’ to them then.

The Hard Way: You excuse yourself from your friends and go an introduce yourself to them. Asking them to hang out with you and your friends could be a choice if they’re new, but if not, you could just find out for common classes and tell them to meet you then.

Now that you finally know them (a little bit), you need to decide how it is you’re going to start to get to know them better! 

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The Easy Way: You just stick to your classes or meeting places, but if they’re nice enough to offer they’re contact details, you could try talking over social media or the phone. *note- this process does take a little bit more time (like almost 3-4 months acc. to me), so if you’re not impatient like me, you’re fine with this process. 

The Hard Way: You feel you need more time a day, so you decide to hang out with his/her friends (if they’re new just see to it you always have them around, unless they need more space) and get to know the other a lot more faster. If you’re daunting enough, you could be the one to ask them for their contact details!

Mostly, by this stage you’re way better friends, and it’s your choice if you want to stay the same or become besties or something.

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Tips: 

  • The main reason many people have trouble is because they’re extremely shy, but trust me, after that first time you get to know them, you might meet tons of new personalities!
  • As mentioned before, the more open-minded you are to what the opposite sex likes, the easier it makes the harder way for you!
  • If you find it extremely difficult to even find people, you’ll need to open your eyes a little more and start talking to your classmates a little more.

Don’ts: 

  • Do NOT try to change yourself for the other just so you can be friends. If this person doesn’t accept you for who you are, then they’re just very stereotypical people.
  • Being too clingy makes the other feel weird or that you have a crush on them (and if you do, take it a notch down, pal), so giving them their space at times won’t get them weirded out…
  • Doing the opposite of the point above just makes it more boring and difficult for you to get them to like you as a friend because they barely get to talk to you, so sort go in the middle of this and the point above.
  • But just because you want a new friend, doesn’t mean you don’t stay true to your gender group. They’re actually the best to help you out, and if your new friends turns out to be a total…(idk), you have them at least to feel better.

So, with a nice smile and personality, go on! Make your new friend!

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If you do have any questions, or your situation is sort of different, just comment down below. Or, if you used a different method, what is it? Just feel free to tell me 🙂

Stay Awesome 😀

 

How to Survive the First Day/Week of School

If you’re a teen still in Middle School/High School, you know what a battleground the first day of school. And with that horrid day coming up just around the corner, you need to be ready to face whatever obstacles life is going to hurl at you when in school. Parents these days (well all the time) keep assuming that the first day of school is nothing to make a big deal of, and it’ll be totally fine, but they often forget how difficult it is for teens in the 21st century to really fit in like in those days (or it’s easier now, but still). For guys…I’m not really experienced with how they go about in friend-making, but for girls, we all know that first day is the most important day. So I have a list of points all need to keep in mind, a couple for girls, and the same for boys.

For all to KNOW: 

Usually, the one main reason the first day is so, so, SO important is because it is the first day newbies meet the oldies in the school, and because of it; there’s a lot of friend-fishing going on. With the right mindset, a glow of positivity and a smile, you’re likely to meet at least one new person and befriend them along the way. But if that doesn’t happen, it doesn’t mean you’re done for.

Last year, I came into 8th grade with the glowing idea of meeting tons of people, mostly all on the first day. But I didn’t really find one until way later, and that’s how I met my amazing guy friend, let’s just call him Aiden.

Now Aiden wasn’t an easy person to befriend on the first day, as he had already met some other people before me who wanted to get to know him, but after a few more tries, I finally had a brand new friend. So just take it easy and don’t get too pushy on new people you meet, or else they’ll just ignore you.

For all the teens who are once again newbies at a school. 

I totally get your pain. In fact, I became a newbie to the same school for 2 years in a row. One was two months before school ended, and the next was the first year of Middle School.

It is pretty terrifying to go to a completely new school with people you’ve never met before in your life, but it is also a good learning experience for us all to keep in mind in the future. But here’s a few points that might help you survive the day or week with or without a friend.

  • Try and be yourself when meeting new people, because pretending to be someone you’re not usually makes your school life sort of miserable as it isn’t you. So just…BE YOU.
  • If you’re going to a school that doesn’t have uniforms, try and dress as yourself, but decent enough to not get people judging you too much. In my opinion, don’t care what certain types of people will think of your clothing, because if they do say something mean, it just means they don’t have a life or soul (trust me, they really don’t).

  • Be social with anybody you meet. Looks don’t matter, and gender doesn’t matter either. If you remember that, then you probably will have a lunch table to sit at that’ll accept you as their own! (but these days almost everyone, except the snobs in schools let you sit with them)
  • Show off your wonderful and unique personality, let people know what an amazing friend you can be. Leave a good impression of your new to-be-fellow classmates and teachers. If you’re spending this school year with them, they should at least know who it will be.
  • And vice versa, you could try and get to know as many people as you can, especially people in the same classes as you, because it’s always fun class with people you know and like to be friends with (or if you love the subject).

Overall, you probably will make it through the day, because all the returning students will want to get to know you and have you join their group, so just relax, you won’t be a loner that day or after.

For all the oldie girls : 

If you hear the word oldie in this post, just so you know, it does NOT mean old in the sense elderly. It just means, you know…you’ve been there for at least a year so you don’t need to worry about being a loner the first day back. Although, if you’ve had any recent fights that affect your friendship or had a friend move to a different place, then you need to start friend-fishing.

But here’s what I have to say for us girls returning. I don’t know if it applies to majority, but I know TONS of girls are usually only worried about their first day of school outfit and look. Guys reading this must be thinking, yeah, like what they do everyday, but here’s the reason why any girl into clothing/fashion or anyone might do it: to show the new us after about 2 months of vacation. Now it sort of sounds like we’re not being ourselves, but no, it just is a look a bit more mature to show we have grown over certain “things” or habits. Basically, it’s just to say for example “See, now I look like a 9th grader!!! I’ve changed this summer!!!”

Besides the fashion drama, I think the first day of school for girls is more spending time with your besties or crushes for that matter. Not all have that mindset. If you’re not, just comment your drama for the first day of school.

Moving on, us oldie girls just get along the whole day with the help of their friends, and the fact that they’ve been here before means experience, and that means if you see a newbie, you might hit it off. So surviving the day is actually just…I dunno, like enjoying the day…

For all the oldie guys: 

I do apologize in advance if anything I say isn’t true or like too stereotypical, but I just didn’t want a unisex blog post and wanted to like…write more, so I hope what I say helps in any way possible.

In my opinion, I think guys aren’t as stressed out about school as girls are, but I’m just saying with the attitude my brother and other guys behave in. It is sort of scary, especially for all those boys who finally hit puberty and now look much cuter or man-lier than before.

Either that, or it’s more the stress that now there’s like homework to start coming in, but girls do that too.

And…I think I ran out of stuff for this area…yeah, let’s just revert back to both genders…

Summing it up

To sum it all up, everyone is nervous for the first day of school no matter what. The new teachers, new students, higher difficulty in studies, more homework…the list of things to worry about is countless. Some of us teens are super excited about school, meeting their friends after too long, new looks on people. But almost everyone survives the first day and week in ways I’m too lazy to talk about.

And…that’s the end of what I feel one needs to know to survive the first day and/or week of school.

My school seems to have decided to start in just a week. Nervous and excited. Really looking forward to meeting my guy friends, and finding out whose changed and how (puberty can do wonders). More weird and longer schedules this year, but I feel it’s something I can look forward to. What is your “thing” or like…a situation or person you’re looking forward to when school starts? What do you usually do a day before school starts??

I’m curious to know!

Stay Awesome! 😀